Another Weekend in Appalachia

Earlier in the month I had the privilege of traveling with members and friends of CTK to Guyan Valley, West Virginia to work on making homes warmer, safer and drier.  We worked with Appalachia Service Project (www.asphome.org).   

Our team was assigned to a house in need of a wheelchair ramp.  The father in the family has been recovering from several illnesses and is currently in rehab.  He cannot be released from rehab until the wheelchair is working.  So, we set to building the ramp.  I like to think that I was the trip’s manual labor.  Cameron, my old roommate went with, he was the brains.  Cam and another team member laid out the ramp—measuring, leveling, re-measuring.  Me? I dug holes.  We had to dig about sixteen holes to build the ramp and were able to dig them all in one day!  I did have to dig one hole that we didn’t use—we just called that my practice hole.  (I sound more chipper about this practice hole now, I didn't think it was so funny then).  The trip was an amazing experience and again, I am so thankful for the ways that God is using people to reach out and be tangible representations of God’s love in the world.

Teammates Pat and Maria cutting wood for the ramp. 

Jimmy leveling 

The ramp (note all the posts that needed holes!)

The ramp getting decking 

Our fearless leader Cameron 

We had to move the steps to the other side of the porch. 

 We wanted to make sure the ramp worked so Pat gave it a whirl.  

  

Making Room

Over the last six weeks, I have seen my best friend only from inside the walls of her room at UNC hospital.  After a difficult start to her pregnancy, we had hoped she was turning a corner.  Yet at 24 weeks, her baby girl named Lucy began acting up.  Lucy has been up to lots of shenanigans for the last six weeks that have kept my dear friend on bed rest.  I am not sure I ever understand how fully bed rest changes life.  It doesn’t mean just slowing down, it means stop.  Stop moving, stop making yourself a priority—simply rest so that your child will grow.  And my dear friend has done this with grace. 

I have always seen pregnancy as a beautiful journey of making room.  Expectant parents make room for their new child in their home often painting and preparing a nursery.  The woman’s body makes room as it expands to accommodate the child inside.  Despite its contrary appearance, bed rest is a room making practice as well. You aren’t doing anything, how can you make room? 

I have seen my dear friend make room in her schedule which was previously packed with long days and evening meetings to simply lay around.  My dear friend has made room on her priority list.  It is no longer dominated by her career-related vocational call but her new vocational call to be a parent.  Laying in bed, my dear friend has become so aware of her daughter’s movement.  She has made room in her own feelings to feel kicks of discomfort from the inside, to feel anxious heartbeats that are ready to meet the world now. 

Perhaps most significantly, I have seen my dear friend expand her capacity to choose another above herself.  We are a selfish people.  It is human nature.  We want comfort, ease and peacefulness.  This is often achieved at the cost of sacrificing someone else so that we can experience these fully.  Yet, on this journey of bed rest, I have seen my dear friend refuse to allow her selfishness win.  She has allowed medicine into her veins that will strengthen Lucy’s growing brain while it feels like molten lava moving through her body.  She has chosen to truly lay in bed and allow others to care for her so that she might care for Lucy.  I have seen what it looks like to sacrifice in action. 

And I am inspired.  I am inspired to make room in my own ways.  Even though I am not an expectant parent, we all are part of God’s new birth in creation each day.  Each day, God is bringing about new possibility, birthing new life.  So how are we making room?  How are we allowing God’s new life to be nourished and flourish in our lives?  Are we making room in our home, our schedules, our priority lists for God’s possibility to be birthed?  Are we willing to sacrifice our own notions of success, comfort and ease for the birth of something greater than ourselves?

I know full well that bed rest isn’t all roses, in fact, it is an ongoing collection of difficult moments. Yet, in this room-making practice, my dear friend is expanding in heart, mind (and her belly).  And because of the great love of her parents and their willingness to make Lucy a priority, soon and very soon, our community will welcome a beautiful baby girl into our lives. 

May our hearts continually make room for God’s new life.

danielle kathryn

A Moment at Camp with Middle School Boys

I have to admit. I don’t like Middle School boys. I feel like they are a foreign species that I just don’t get.  You will rarely find me volunteering to spend time with them and even less often seeking out opportunities for conversation with them.  This past Saturday, I traveled out to Camp Agape to hang out with out Middle Schoolers.  In my slightly changed position at Christ the King, I now am responsible for this lovely age group.  And so I set out to get to know them better.  And the boys didn’t surprise me.  They were laughing often to the side when instructions were given, they were playing with sticks and roughhousing. 

I joined our five MS boys at camp for an activity.  We were lined up along one-side a sand volley-ball court.  The court had been filled with small balls that were imaginary landmines.  There were blindfolds and the goal was to get across without stepping on a mine.  Me and this motley crew of MS boys took to the task.  They began to work together, to help each other across.  I am sad to report that I was the only that ran one of the kids into a landmine (Sorry, Stuart!).  I even allowed one of the 6^th grade boys to give me instructions across the court as I was blindfolded.  The activity continued fairly calmly and was well executed by these boys. 

After finishing the challenge, the boys gathered on picnic tables and a discussion began.  The counselor asked, “How does this resemble life?”  The boys didn’t hesitate, “You learn who you can trust and whose voice to follow.”  “Landmines are part of life, you have to have people help you navigate them.”  Then the counselor asked, “What does this have to do with our relationship with God?”  And it is here I had my moment with MS boys.  First, one of the boys compared it to Avatar. I couldn’t follow the comparison because I am not well-versed in Avatar lingo.  The boys began to excitedly agree.  The another sixth grade boy added, “It is like faith. We don’t have proof that God exists.  We just have to trust.  We have to trust that God is hoping for us to cross our path—even with landmines in the way—that is what faith it, isn’t it?” 

And so I owe an apology to all the MS boys out there.  In the midst of my doubts, you showed me that God just as active in the mind of a MS boy as in this 29-year old minister.   I am not ready to sign-up to a lead a MS retreat yet but I am certainly looking forward to more play and conversation. 

God’s love and mine,

danielle kathrym 

Consecration Anniversary

Today is the two year anniversary of my consecration as a Diaconal Minister in the ELCA.

Many things from that day stick in my mind like my dad almost winning the lottery! (He was one number off.  To this day, if you ask him what he remembers it is that). 

My pastor from Washington, DC made the journey to Cary to remind me that God calls us to live out Micah 6:8 to love mercy, do justice and walk humbly with God everyday (regardless of whether or not we are professional ministers or not!) 

On my consecration day, my parents gifted me with a towel.  The symbol for diaconal ministers is a basin and towel. The towel I was given was used at my baptism.  In that moment, when God claimed me as God’s child, I was wrapped in that towel and prayers were offered that I would live into my calling as a child of God faithfully and with boldness.  On my consecration day, my parents gave me the towel and said this, “Danielle, in the waters of Baptism, you were claimed by God and marked with the cross of Christ forever. You were baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and then wrapped in this towel.  You were handed back to us as we promised to raise you in the faith.  We present you your baptismal towel as a reminder of your baptism and symbol of your unfolding life in Christ.  May you use this towel to dry feet, to dry tears and reflect the goodness of God in this world.”

Then Bishop Bolick and partners in ministry from around the state (and DC!) gathered around, laid on hands and gave me a charge:

Danielle Kathryn Kosanovich serve the needy, care for the sick, comfort the distressed, and, through words and actions, witness faithfully to God's love for all people. Cross every barrier that stands between the church and its ministry in the world. Seek out those places where the gospel of Jesus Christ meets the world's need. Empower, equip, and support all the baptized in the ministry of Jesus Christ. Lead us all in proclaiming the gospel in witness and service. And be of good courage, for God has called you, and your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

This was the image used on the front of the
bulletin cover at my consecration

Each day, I remember I strive to live into this calling, this purpose that is greater than me and one that cannot be accomplished on my own.  This calling is odd, wondrous and beautiful.  Thank you for all who have supported me and continue to support me on my journey!  And so begins another year! 

Saying Goodbye to Cheryl

Last night I enjoyed the a meal in downtown at Gravy.  The food was great and the decor complete with large wooden spoon (see the photo).   Cheryl, I hope that you have a great move to Florida and rock it in graduate school!  Who am I going to watch football and hockey with? I am going to miss you! 

Remembering Walt

I spent most of the last two days working on a booklet and planning guide for members of our congregation to use when talking about end-of-life decisions and funerals/memorial services. I will post it when it is available as it is a conversation that we all need to have with our families.  People always ask if our focus on death is depressing.  For me, its not.  Helping people die well is one of the church’s greatest ministries.  In our culture many die alone and in sterile environments.  Deemed useless by the world years ago, these precious children are reminded as the church approaches death alongside them that they are vauled and truly the beloved of God. 

We recently lost an older gentleman in our congregation.  Lung cancer had been ravaging his body for months.  He struggled with the diagnosis and the idea of life coming to an end, and despite the best medical efforts he died. 

The week before Walt died, we had a healing service at Christ the King. This is the part of the service where we allow people to come and have their requests communally lifted up to God at prayer stations.  Others opt to simply share their prayer concerns through a card and the staff spends time praying for them over the next few weeks.  As the music was coming to a close, this gentleman walked over to me—frail and accompanied by oxygen—he came and looked at me.  He didn’t ask for a specific request. He simply laid his tired head on my shoulder, and wrapped his weaken arms around me.  We both cried as we asked that God would allow him to die with dignity, the God would provided even more meaningful time with his family.  We asked that healing would come according to God’s will—making space for healing to be in the next life to come.  We asked that God would give assurance of life everlasting and peace that passes all understanding to those who will grieve. 

A few days later, Walt was taken to the hospital.  I stopped into see him because it was his birthday.  I told him that Pastor Ray sent me to sing. I spared him the singing.  He talked about gardening and I saw him with three generations of his family gathered round with a balloon, magazines and a slice of cheesecake.  Just before leaving, he looked at me.  Something in my spirit knew it would be the last time.  He held my hand, pulled me close and kissed me gently on my cheek. He smiled and said, “Even though you didn’t. I’ll tell Pastor Ray you sang.” 

Henri Nouwen often writes that to die well is the greatest gift we can leave our loved ones.  In our culture that conditions us to choose isolation in our darkest moments, the church reminds us that we are not alone. We are gathered together in the Holy Spirit and with one another.  Let us allow the fear of death be unseated by the peace of God’s promises—forgiveness, shalom and everlasting life. 

danielle kathryn

My New Place

It’s Official.  After having rented my apartment for a month, I have finally slept in my new place for seven days (That is a good indication of how crazy this month has been). For as thankful as I am for my roommate, I love living on my own. I will admit the biggest change is the lack of cable and technology when it comes to entertainment but I suppose I will adjust (or breakdown and get cable!).  Here is a look at my new place. I could still use some end tables, desk chair, cookie sheet and a coffee table if you have any of these items to spare!   Sorry some of the pictures are the wrong direction. I uploaded them wrong and I am too tired to fix them! 

This is the view when you walk in the front door. Yes, I know I should have cleaned up before I took the picture but just roll with it!  Don’t you just love my area rug?  I think Jesus wanted me to have it because it was the exact colors I wanted and on clearance at Lowes.  (Jesus cares about my rug choice, right?) J

Here is my built-in bookcase.  Note the giant stereo.  Despite the compactness of an ipod dock, I can’t give it up!  The stereo was the first thing I bought with my own money when I went off to college over a decade ago. 

This is my little dining room.  The curtain is a Sari from Sri Lanka, the metal hangings are from Haiti, the table from my grandma and the vase I made with the kids I babysit.  If you come over for dinner, you will need to bring your own chair. I only have two J

Here’s the kitchen.  Many a chai latte will be made here. 

This is where I am planning on getting all my work done!  Will see.  Some how it feels like all I’ve done so far is stack papers.  

My room is still a work in progress, I get pictures soon!

Danielle